


accidental mistruthing

by theuniverseishers



Category: Firebringer - Team StarKid
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Emberly also has a cat named Tiger, Emberly is married to Grunt and they have a kid together, Fluff, Humor, Jemilla is a single mom, Misunderstandings, Multi, Romance, Texting, Zazz has a golden retriever named Snarl, Zazzalil is a Gay Mess, i just need more jazzalil content, i wrote this at like 4am - Freeform, in lieu of studying, they're on some messaging app
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:07:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23665108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theuniverseishers/pseuds/theuniverseishers
Summary: [18:59] Zazzalil: do we know anyone with kids?[19:02] Keeri: em and grant’s kid’s birthday party was literally yesterday[19:02] Keeri: you were THERE[19:03] Zazzalil: OK COOL THANKS FOR UR HELP KEERI LOVE U HAVE FUN IN DANCE CLASS[19:03] Keeri: wait what do you need a whole ass child for????[19:05] Keeri: ZAZZALILor"The hot single parent I'm into proposed a playdate for our kids and I happily agreed but I was actually talking about my pet please send help" AU
Relationships: Emberly/Grunt (Firebringer), Jemilla/Zazzalil (Firebringer)
Comments: 40
Kudos: 77





	1. Chapter 1

_Sunday, 14 April_

**_Private chat between Zazzalil and Keeri._ **

[18:32] Zazzalil: KEERI HELP

[18:40] Zazzalil: KEERIIIIIIIII

[18:56] Keeri: ??? im in dance class what do you want

[18:57] Zazzalil: CAN I BORROW YOUR SON

[18:57] Keeri: uhhhh first of all i dont have a son?? im single??? also i hate kids?????

[18:57] Keeri: secondly, i wouldnt trust you with him if i did  
  


[18:58] Zazzalil: dammit

[18:59] Zazzalil: do we know anyone with kids?

[19:02] Keeri: em and grant’s kid’s birthday party was literally yesterday

[19:02] Keeri: you were THERE

[19:03] Zazzalil: OK COOL THANKS FOR UR HELP KEERI LOVE U HAVE FUN IN DANCE CLASS

[19:03] Keeri: wait what do you need a whole ass child for????

[19:05] Keeri: ZAZZALIL

* * *

**_Private chat between Zazzalil and Emberly._ **

[19:04] Zazzalil: EMBERLY HELP

[19:25] Zazzalil: EMBERLY PLEASE REPLYSGDFKDFG

[21:07] Emberly: Sorry, I was busy having dinner with Grant

[21:08] Emberly: What happened? Are you okay?

[21:08] Zazzalil: can i borrow mikey next saturday?

[21:08] Zazzalil: please? I promise I’ll take care of him!!

[21:09] Emberly: What?? What do you need my son for???

[21:09] Zazzalil: oh you know!! i miss him, is all :-)!

[21:10] Emberly: Zazz, you asked to _borrow my son_

[21:10] Zazzalil: HNnGFN OKAY SO

[21:11] Emberly: Hold on, I’m gonna make a group chat with Keeri

[21:11] Emberly: I DEFINITELY do not want to deal with whatever you’ve gotten into alone

* * *

_Emberly created a new group._

_Emberly added Elizabeth and Carrie to the group._

_Elizabeth changed their nickname to Zazzalil._

_Carrie changed their nickname to Keeri._

_Keeri set the group name to ‘why the hell does zazz need A Child’_

[21:12] Emberly: Okay, keep going

[21:12] Zazzalil: I was at the park this evening with snarl cuz he was feeling really restless right

[21:12] Zazzalil: (keeri he loves the squeaky toy you got him btw!!!!)

[21:12] Zazzalil: and I was sitting down on this bench and this STUNNING woman sits down next to me and goes “so which one is yours?” and she nods in the direction of snarl, some other dogs and this huge group of kids running around the playground

[21:13] Zazzalil: so im like she’s clearly talking about my dog so i just said “the blonde one” and she laughs and goes “mine is blonde too” with this really soft smile

[21:13] Zazzalil: AND LIKE okay look in my defence there was just a lot happening where we were looking okay

[21:13] Zazzalil: so we start talking and she says “oh, my son is so cute, the other day he rolled around in mud and made a mess of himself”

[21:14] Zazzalil: and im like wow heart eyes this lady refers to her dog as her SON thats a good dog owner if ive ever seen one

_Keeri changed Zazzalil’s nickname to gay mess._

[21:14] Emberly: Somehow I feel like this isn’t just gonna be about a meet cute

[21:14] gay mess: so i start talking about snarl and referring to him as my son too bc like?? he really IS my son if you think about it

[21:14] gay mess: so anyways we just keep chatting for a while and she’s super duper nice!!!

[21:15] gay mess: and then she goes, “we should arrange a playdate for our kids”

[21:15] gay mess: so my gay ass is like “oh yeah definitely!!! just give me your number and i’ll text you :-)”

[21:16] Keeri: oh hell yeah zazz that was smooth as hell

[21:16] Emberly: Actually yeah, I’m proud of you for that one

[21:17] gay mess: thank you but SHHH im telling a STORY

[21:17] Keeri: damn ur the one who asked for help dont be rude

[21:18] gay mess: so ANYWAYS i exchange numbers with this Gorgeous Amazing Stunning Beautiful woman

[21:18] Emberly: Gay

[21:18] gay mess: and then she says she has to leave bc “charlie gets really tired really quickly in the evening”

[21:18] gay mess: so im thinking “oh charlie must be a senior dog”

[21:18] gay mess: so she calls charlie over and GET THIS

[21:19] Emberly: ..What??? What happened????

[21:19] Keeri: LMAO wait i need to add the others they need to see this too

_Keeri added Tiblyn, Sebastian, David and Samantha to ‘why the hell does zazz need A Child’._

[21:20] David: Hi, what’s happening?

[21:20] Keeri: long story short zazz met a Hot Lady With A Dog Named Charlie at the park today and we’re about to find out how she screwed up

[21:20] Keeri: also can yall change ur nicknames it’s so weird to see your actual names

_Sebastian changed their nickname to SB._

_David changed their nickname to Ducker._

_Samantha changed their nickname to Schwoopsie._

[21:25] Keeri: ELIZABETH IF YOU DONT GET YOUR GAY ASS BACK IN THIS CHAT

[21:29] gay mess: SORRY i had to let snarl out

[21:29] gay mess: also dont call me elizabeth

[21:29] gay mess: also also why are there so many people suddenly

[21:29] Ducker: Keeri wanted you to be humiliated in front of all of us

[21:29] gay mess: (fuck you keeri) SO ANYWAYS!!!! IT TURNS OUT!!!!!!

[21:30] gay mess: charlie is an actual, living breathing **_HUMAN CHILD_ **

[21:30] Emberly: ZAZZALIL

[21:30] Keeri: AHSDKFSFGKJDSFGKJDF NOOOO UR JOKING

[21:30] Schwoopsie: Now that’s a fuckin schwoopsie if i’ve ever seen one

[21:30] Tiblyn: I’m this >< close to tweeting about this

[21:30] Ducker: Zazz………………………

_SB changed the group name to ‘zazz you fuckin dumbass’._

[21:31] gay mess: guys this lady was literally so nice and genuine i dont know how to tell her that i dont actually have a kid

[21:31] gay mess: JJSRF

[21:31] gay mess: WDFJG

[21:31] gay mess: gUYSH HSES JUTST TEHCETED MnFEE

[21:31] Emberly: Keeri, please translate. I don’t speak gay

[21:32] Keeri: she said the Hot Lady With A !!!!HUMAN CHILD!!!! Named Charlie texted her

[21:33] Schwoopsie: I just heard her squeal from my room lmao zazz you good?

* * *

**_Private chat between Elizabeth and Jemilla._ **

[21:31] Jemilla: Hello, Elizabeth! :)

[21:32] Elizabeth: omg hi!

[21:32] Elizabeth: um if you wouldn’t mind, i’d rather be referred to as zazzalil? I really dont like the name elizabeth

[21:32] Jemilla: Well I think Elizabeth is a wonderful name but if you prefer Zazzalil, of course!

[21:33] Jemilla: Zazzalil is a pretty unique name. It suits you <3

_Elizabeth changed their nickname to zazlzasidkf._

_zazlzasidkf changed their nickname to Zazzalil._

[21:35] Zazzalil: haha, well thank you!!

[21:35] Zazzalil: so anyways, the playdate?

_Jemilla is typing…_

* * *

**_‘zazz you fuckin dumbass’ group chat_ **

[21:33] Keeri: lol i wonder if she’s having a gay breakdown in front of Hot Lady

[21:33] Schwoopsie: Im gonna peek thru her door wish me luck

[21:34] SB: STAY STRONG SOLDIER

[21:34] gay mess: GUYGFYGUFGYUDSGU I ASKED HER TO CALL ME ZAZZALIL AND SHE SAID THE NAME WAS UNIQUE AND IT SUITED ME AND SHE SENT A “<3” DNDHGKDFJGKRGJ

[21:34] Tiblyn: Yeah okay I’m livetweeting this

[21:35] Ducker: How we feeling, Zazz?

[21:35] Schwoopsie: So Hot Lady’s name is Jemilla, im hanging out in Zazzalil’s room now and will be texting updates while she’s busy being gay

[21:37] Schwoopsie: Jemilla just texted her again so uhhh pray i dont get hit by Zazzalil’s flailing arms lmao

[21:37] SB: lol dont die

[21:38] Emberly: Okay but like Zazz needs to tell Jemilla that she doesn’t have a son son, right?

[21:38] Keeri: no duh, embs

* * *

**_Private chat between Zazzalil and Jemilla_ **

[21:37] Jemilla: So for the playdate, I was wondering if next Saturday would be okay with you? I’ll be busy tomorrow and I have work on the weekdays. If you can’t do Saturday, Sunday would be good too! Charlie’s very excited to have a new friend :)

[21:38] Jemilla: Oh, and I’m so sorry I didn’t stay for a little while longer to meet your son! I would have, but Charlie gets very cranky if he doesn’t get home before sunset.

[21:38] Zazzalil: omg no that’s okay!! i completely understand

[21:39] Zazzalil: frankly, i get testy when i’m not home before sunset too haha

[21:39] Zazzalil: and yeah, next saturday is good!! are we doing this at the park again or..?

[21:41] Jemilla: Actually, I was hoping you could come over instead? I could make lunch for us, and I think it’d be safer if our kids play in the backyard, anyways.

[21:41] Jemilla: But only if it’s okay with you!

[21:42] Zazzalil: yeah, that sounds good, dont worry!!

[21:43] Jemilla: Wonderful! I’ll text you the address on the day before! :)

[21:44] Zazzalil: cool beans!

[21:44] Zazzalil: so how is charlie doing?

* * *

**_‘zazz you fuckin dumbass’ group chat_ **

[21:39] Tiblyn: My followers are all making fun of Zazzalil (but in like a good way)

[21:39] Ducker: Hey guys look at this pancake I just made

[21:39] Ducker: _Attached 1 picture._

[21:40] SB: bro that totally looks like a fuckin dinosaur that’s baller

[21:40] Emberly: That looks really well made, Ducky!

[21:40] Keeri: schwoops please tell us zazzalil’s being a gay mess rn

[21:40] Schwoopsie: Well Actually she’s being really cool about it????

[21:41] Schwoopsie: Through text, anyways. Shes like a huge mess irl tho lol look

[21:41] Schwoopsie: _Attached 1 picture._

[21:41] Keeri: find urself someone who looks at you the way zazz looks at her phone while she texts jemilla

[21:41] Tiblyn: She’s being so cute?? Hello???

[21:41] Tiblyn: ZAZZ may I have permission to post this picture on the thread I’m doing on you

[21:41] gay mess: NO!!!!!!!

[21:42] Tiblyn: Damn okay

[21:42] Schwoopsie: Guys shes avoiding the topic of her “son” so well im honestly kinda impressed???

[21:42] Emberly: Wait but we want her to tell the truth though

[21:43] Keeri: zazz dont do anything stupid

[21:44] Schwoopsie: ZAZZALIL JUST TYPED COOL BEANS IM LOSING MY FUCKING MIND

[21:44] SB: zazz you just lost all your street cred

[21:44] Schwoopsie: She had to put her phone down look at this dumbass

[21:45] Schwoopsie: _Attached 3 pictures._

[21:45] Keeri: god she really is a gay mess huh

[21:45] Tiblyn: Okay Im DEFINITELY posting one of those on the twitter thread sorry elizabeth <3333333

[21:46] Ducker: I’d make fun of her if I weren’t so scared of her setting my head on fire again

[21:46] gay mess: it was ONE TIME!!!!!!! and that was mostly your fault anyways >:-(

[21:46] Ducker: That doesn’t erase the TRAUMA, ZAZZALIL

[21:47] Emberly: Zazzalil’s the CEO of Be Gay Do Crimes™

[21:47] Keeri: we had to stan

[21:48] Schwoopsie: Elizabeth kicked me out of her room bc I wouldnt stop taking pictures of her </3

[21:48] SB: she just doesn’t want you to see her being a gay mess lol

[21:48] Keeri: im so close to coming over and breaking into her room just to watch her text this girl

[21:49] Tiblyn: Can I come with you???

[21:49] Emberly: I’d join you two but I’m having a movie night with Grant <333

[21:50] Ducker: Oh shut up we know you two are happy

[21:50] Emberly: I love my hubby

[21:51] gay mess: EW DONT USE THE WORD HUBBY

[21:51] gay mess: also Please Refrain from doing crimes i have a spear and i am Not afraid to Use It

[21:51] SB: okay you got ur street cred back just for having a spear

[21:52] Tiblyn: Who gave the reckless child a spear

[21:52] Keeri: …………………...not me

[21:52] Emberly: KEERI

[21:53] Keeri: look it was either that or a nerf gun and idk about you but i dont wanna deal with zazzalil with a nerf gun

[21:53] Schwoopsie: Where did you even get one??

[21:54] Keeri: craigslist is a wonderful place

[21:54] Emberly: Okay now I’m just scared for Zazz that spear cant be safe to hold

[21:54] SB: she got her tetanus shot right

[21:55] Ducker: Guys my dino pancake is gone :(

* * *

**_Private chat between Zazzalil and Jemilla_ **

[21:45] Jemilla: Charlie is doing okay, I just put him to bed, actually :)

[21:45] Jemilla: He got all tuckered out after I let him watch his favourite TV show.

[21:46] Zazzalil: aww that’s so cute

[21:46] Zazzalil: what’s his favourite show?

[21:47] Zazzalil: noo wait lemme guess

[21:47] Zazzalil: pingu?

[21:48] Jemilla: Yeah, actually! Haha, are you stalking us??

[21:49] Zazzalil: kddjskfhjksdf

[21:50] Zazzalil: sorry, dropped my phone

[21:50] Zazzalil: and haha, ofc not!! i just loved pingu as a kid so my default show that every kid should love is pingu

[21:51] Jemilla: Very fair! I loved it as a kid, too. I still do actually! :)

[21:52] Jemilla: Well I have to go get ready for bed now. Early start tomorrow!

[21:52] Zazzalil: oh, do you have work tomorrow?

[21:53] Jemilla: Yes, and I have to make breakfast and send Charlie to his preschool, too. You probably have to go through the same routine, huh?

[21:54] Zazzalil: oh i used to be able to stay up really late, but the years are really getting to me haha

[21:55] Jemilla: Yeah, getting old sucks, doesn’t it?

[21:55] Zazzalil: tell me about it!! everytime i wanna do something teenage me would do, i have to remind myself that im a grown woman with Responsibilities now

[22:03] Jemilla: I get that sometimes, haha.

[22:03] Jemilla: Well, I’m off to bed! I’ll text you again soon.

[22:03] Zazzalil: for sure!! sweet dreams! :-)

[22:04] Jemilla: You put noses in your emoticons?

[22:04] Zazzalil: emoticons have feelings too, jemilla!!

[22:05] Jemilla: Haha, that’s cute <3

[22:05] Jemilla: Goodnight, Zazzalil :^)

[22:06] Zazzalil: goodnight!

* * *

**_‘zazz you fuckin dumbass’ group chat_ **

[22:00] Tiblyn: Hey Zazz? I’m gonna need an update soon, buddy

[22:00] Tiblyn: My followers are following this story really closely

[22:01] Keeri: hey is anyone watching the masterchef semi-finals rn? It’s WILD

[22:02] Emberly: Oh leave her alone, Tibs! She’s busy being gay!

[22:03] Emberly: @Keeri Me and Grant are watching it right now! Steve is being SO rude to Gia

[22:05] Keeri: RIGHT????

[22:05] Schwoopsie: @Tiblyn If it helps, i just heard her fall off her bed

[22:05] Keeri: KHFKSD SHE DIDNT

[22:06] Schwoopsie: Well i mean all i heard was a loud thud but what else could it have been??

[22:07] Emberly: Aww I bet Jemilla texted her something cute!

[22:07] Keeri: @gay mess UPDATES PLEASE

[22:08] gay mess: UGSYDG SHE CLAED ME CU TJE BC IP UT NHGOSED I N YM EMOTINC ONSS HDFGKJKGJ

[22:08] Keeri: cant translate that soz

[22:08] Tiblyn: Just send us a screenshot damn

[22:09] gay mess: _Attached 2 pictures._

[22:10] Emberly: Aww!!!! Omg Zazz!!!!

[22:10] Keeri: she PUNCTUATES HER TEXTS???? what a nerd

[22:10] SB: “sorry i dropped my phone” LMAO OK ZAZZ

[22:10] Schwoopsie: Big Cool Beans™ energy

[22:10] Ducker: She’s definitely into you

[22:11] gay mess: what?? no way!!

[22:11] Keeri: of all the things you choose to reply to ofc it was that one

[22:12] gay mess: what makes you think that??

[22:13] Tiblyn: Zazzalil she was OBVIOUSLY being flirty in her texts

[22:13] Emberly: I may be as straight as you are gay but even I can tell when a girl is being flirty!

[22:14] Ducker: And shes not exactly being subtle either

[22:14] Schwoopsie: That heart??? GAY

[22:15] gay mess: i send hearts to everyone though!!

[22:15] Keeri: zazz i’ve been friends with you my whole life i have NEVER seen you send a heart emoticon to anyone????

[22:15] gay mess: well whatever!!! she’s not me anyways, she probably just likes being affectionate with people she knows

[22:15] gay mess: and besides!!! tiblyn sends hearts to us all the time

[22:16] SB: riiiiiight, if thats what floats your boat ig

[22:16] gay mess: im gonna go to bed now smh

[22:17] Keeri: you always go to bed at like midnight dont lie to us lmao

[22:19] gay mess: TIBLYN you better not have posted anything embarrassing about me!!!!

[22:22] Tiblyn: Woops <3

[22:22] gay mess: ur LUCKY you live all the way in la or id have murdered u by now

[22:24] Tiblyn: Love you <3333333

* * *

**_Private chat between Zazzalil and Emberly_ **

[22:24] Emberly: Wait Zazz did you tell her that you don’t actually have a kid??

[22:39] Emberly: Zazzalil?????

[22:57] Emberly: There’d better be a confirmation text when I wake up tomorrow or I’ll sic Tiger on you smh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this idea came to me at like 3am and i spent the next hour writing this i hope y'all enjoy it
> 
> i might just leave this as a oneshot but lmk if yall think i should continue it! i have some ideas i could try writing
> 
> my twitter is @azminanan, feel free to come yell with me about starkid! <3


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if there are any consistency issues, for some reason i always write chapters of this at 3 in the morning?? i think it enhances the chaos so it's cool we good
> 
> also uhhhh stream my diane lopez fancam available on my twitter account @azminanan

_Thursday, 18 April_

**_Private chat between Zazzalil and Jemilla_ **

[06:10] Jemilla: Good morning, Zazzalil :^)

[07:11] Jemilla: _Attached 2 pictures._

[07:11] Jemilla: Charlie says hi, too!

[07:15] Jemilla: I’m sorry if I don’t reply consistently today, I have a surplus of work to do today because of something that happened last week.

[07:15] Jemilla: Maybe I’ll tell you about it sometime, if you’re willing to listen?

[07:16] Jemilla: But anyways, I hope you have a good day today!

[07:42] Jemilla: ...I’m sorry if you’re annoyed by my messages, I’ll try not to spam you with too much!

[08:00] Zazzalil: aww charlie looks so sweet in these pics

[08:01] Zazzalil: and omg no it’s cool!! i totally dont mind :-)

[08:01] Zazzalil: trust me, youd know if i did haha

[08:02] Zazzalil: and good morning to you too!! you texted real early today, is somethin happening today??

[08:02] Zazzalil: also im definitely willing to listen to that story whenever you’re free!!

* * *

**_‘zazz you fuckin dumbass’ group chat_ **

[06:40] Emberly: Good morning, everyone!

[06:40] Emberly: Everyone except Elizabeth

[07:20] Ducker: Ice cold, Embs

[08:00] Keeri: damn what did she do

[08:02] gay mess: GUSYFF sHE messgaed me skddfjhgjds

[08:03] gay mess: _Attached 1 picture._

[08:03] gay mess: LOOK AT HER!!!!!!!!

[08:03] gay mess: HSE

[08:03] gay mess: EHS

[08:03] gay mess: AHFHSDFKD

[08:03] gay mess: SHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[08:04] Ducker: Lol you’d think she’d be calmer about Jemilla’s texts after four days but here we are

[08:04] gay mess: HSFDKJDKJFGKFJG UP hSUT UFKC THE

[08:04] Tiblyn: Zazz it is way too early for your gay shit please shut up????

[08:04] Tiblyn: (But she is really pretty tho)

[08:04] gay mess: ……………..

[08:05] Keeri: uh NO im living for this gay zazz content you shut up

[08:05] Keeri: keep going lesbian icon <3

[08:06] gay mess: wow we love a supportive kween <333333333333

[08:06] gay mess: anyways yeah damn what’d i do?????

[08:08] Emberly: You didn’t come clean to Jemilla, that’s what!!

[08:10] gay mess: she went to sleep again before i could tell her!! >:-(

[08:11] Emberly: You were talking to her for like two hours last night!!!!!

[08:23] SB: lol she’s got you there zazz

[08:24] Keeri: omg no it wasnt her fault shes gay :(((((

[08:34] gay mess: ill tell her!! it's cool!! it’s chill!!!

[08:49] Ducker: Ugh how do you guys wake up so EARLY

[08:56] Emberly: Elizabeth I swear to god if you don’t send me a screenshot of you telling Jemilla by the end of the day I will throw your dog into the sun

[09:05] Schwoopsie: Isnt snarl bigger than you

[09:21] Emberly: HE’S NOT BIGGER THAN GRANT!!!!!!

[09:22] gay mess: _Attached 1 picture._

[09:22] gay mess: pls stop threatening my dogs life he is An Angel

[09:30] Keeri: WHY IS HE IN A JOKER COSTUME

[09:32] SB: imagine being snarl lol i would hate having zazz as an owner

* * *

**_Private chat between Zazzalil and Jemilla_ **

[09:45] Jemilla: Bold of you to assume texting you isn’t the first thing I do when I wake up every morning :^)

[09:45] Jemilla: Got up extra early today because Charlie’s having picture day today!

[09:46] Jemilla: _Attached 5 pictures._

[09:46] Jemilla: His teacher sent me these a few minutes ago. Doesn’t he look absolutely precious?

[09:47] Jemilla: He begged me to style his hair up, hehe! Said he wanted to look like a “handsome shark”.

[09:50] Zazzalil: !!! he looks so spiffy !!!

[09:50] Zazzalil: pass my compliments to his stylist!

[09:51] Jemilla: She receives your compliments with a gracious thank you! <3

[09:52] Jemilla: Say, you said you worked at that tech company at Cave Ave., right?

[09:52] Zazzalil: yep!! im surprised you remembered

[09:53] Jemilla: Well, it’s not everyday I make friends with the smartest engineer in town! Plus, I find it hard to forget anything about you.

[09:53] Zazzalil: slkdjff

[09:53] Zazzalil: HAHA sorry dropped my phone again im so clumsy

[09:53] Zazzalil: and please, my boss is always just barely an inch away from firing me for my dumbass ideas :-p

[09:54] Jemilla: Hey, no self-deprecating talk here!! You were hired for a reason. Plus - from what I’ve heard, anyways - you’ve already contributed a lot to the company!!

[09:55] Jemilla: Anyways, I was wondering if you wanted to go for lunch together? I’ve been wanting to go to my favourite restaurant lately, and it turns out it’s pretty close to your workplace!

[09:54] Jemilla: I figured we could spend time together and try to get to know each other before we spend our Saturday together :^)

* * *

**_‘zazz you fuckin dumbass’ group chat_ **

[11:05] gay mess: GUYS GFFUDYG SYGUSY SHE IVBIEJF ME TPjO LAUNGH

[11:07] Keeri: ok so im not 100% sure but i think? zazz is saying that jemilla invited her to lunch??

[11:07] Keeri: also arent you at work

[11:08] gay mess: _Attached 1 picture._

[11:08] gay mess: DFSDKFHFHGDJDFHGHFGKJSDKFHJ

[11:08] gay mess: YOURE AT WORK TOO

[11:09] Keeri: well yea but we’re havin a break rn whats your excuse huh???

[11:09] gay mess: FUCK WORK!!! THE GORGEOUSEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD TEXTED ME

[11:09] Emberly: Pretty sure that’s not an actual word

[11:10] gay mess: (((also february kicked me out of the lab bc i was being “too rowdy” but SHHHHHHHHH)))

[11:10] Tiblyn: You’re such a mess thank you for the content

[11:10] gay mess: TIBLYN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[11:10] Tiblyn: Yes, Elizabeth? <3333333333

[11:11] Schwoopsie: Zazz im telling you this right now:

[11:11] Schwoopsie: Yes, i am using a lot of this for my next comedy show

[11:12] SB: HAHAHAHAHAHA GET FUCKED ZAZZ

[11:12] gay mess: AT LEAST PAY ME ROYALTY

[11:13] Emberly: As much as I love making fun of Zazz, can we please get back to the topic at hand??

[11:13] gay mess: yes can we PLEASE

[11:13] Ducker: Well what’d you tell her?

[11:14] gay mess: what

[11:14] Ducker: ….the reply? That you sent? What did you say???

[11:15] gay mess: ……………………………..wait

[11:15] gay mess: JSFGJDSFG WAIT HIST I HABEVNET RPEl DUED

_SB changed the group name to ‘zazz u absolute fuckin MORON’._

* * *

**_Private chat between Zazzalil and Jemilla_ **

[10:14] Jemilla: Zazzalil?

[10:40] Jemilla: Hey, it’s totally okay if you don’t want to go! I would just appreciate a reply.

[11:15] Jemilla: Next time, then?

[11:16] Zazzalil: WAIT OGM NO

[11:16] Zazzalil: I AM !!!!! SO SORRY!!!! i saw this and forgot to actually reply!!!!!!

[11:17] Jemilla: Woah, that’s okay! Take a moment to calm down a bit, hun.

[11:17] Zazzalil: i would love to go for lunch with you! my tiny brain gets distracted really easily im SO sorry!!

[11:17] Jemilla: Hey, I already told you, NO self-deprecating talk allowed!!!

[11:17] Jemilla: And hey, it’s okay! I wouldn’t have been mad if you had said no.

[11:18] Jemilla: A little disappointed, yeah, but never mad!

[11:18] Zazzalil: still, i feel really bad that i left you on seen like that :-(

[11:19] Jemilla: Well hey, I know how you can make it up to me!

[11:19] Zazzalil: hows that?

[11:20] Jemilla: You can buy us both lunch with your fancy engineer money that you earned with that big brain of yours :^)

[11:21] Zazzalil: oh ofc!! id insist on paying for it, anyways

[11:21] Jemilla: My, my! Quite the gentlewoman, aren’t you?

[11:22] Zazzalil: only for you, milady!! ;-)

[11:22] Jemilla: There’s the smiley face I was looking for! :^)

[11:22] Jemilla: My lunch break starts at half past 12, is that okay with you?

[11:23] Zazzalil: yeah! 12.30 is good

[11:24] Jemilla: Lovely! I’ll pick you up, then.

[11:24] Jemilla: I’ll see you later, Zazzalil <3

[11:25] Zazzalil: im looking forward to it!

* * *

**_‘zazz u absolute fuckin MORON’ group chat_ **

[11:17] Emberly: Hey what do you guys think about chocolate covered prawns?

[11:18] Tiblyn: Embs that sounds.. disgusting………

[11:18] SB: i’d eat it probably

[11:19] Schwoopsie: Seb i once saw you eating a frozen waffle covered in mustard and chilli sauce you dont get to have a say in this

[11:19] Ducker: Do I even wanna ask

[11:19] Keeri: in sb’s defence!!! it wasnt all that bad!!!!

[11:20] Emberly: As a chef, I am disgusted

[11:20] Emberly: As your friend, I am slightly concerned

[11:20] SB: bro youre the one who brought up chocolate covered prawns

[11:21] Keeri: yeah!! dont try coming at us for our Tastes™

[11:22] Emberly: I’m just trying to prove a point to my sous chef!!!! Chocolate prawns ARE disgusting and that’s that on that

[11:23] Tiblyn: Where’s Zazz? My followers are Thirsty

[11:23] Ducker: @gay mess

[11:23] Keeri: @gay mess

[11:23] Schwoopsie: @gay mess

[11:24] SB: @gay mess

[11:24] Tiblyn: @gay mess

[11:25] gay mess: PLEASE shut the fuck up oh my god

[11:25] Emberly: @gay mess

[11:25] Emberly: Dammit

[11:25] Keeri: updates bitch!!!!!

[11:26] gay mess: _Attached 1 picture._

[11:26] gay mess: i am happy to announce that we: gucci

[11:27] Emberly: ………….

[11:27] Ducker: …………………..

[11:27] Schwoopsie: …………………………..

[11:27] Keeri: ………………………………………………………….

[11:28] gay mess: ,,what?

[11:28] Tiblyn: My followers wanted me to tell you that that was Gay

[11:28] Tiblyn: And also that Jemilla is Definitely Into You

[11:29] gay mess: ???? no way lmao i wish ????

[11:30] Tiblyn: ………...………...………...………...………...………...………...………...………...………...………...………...………...………...………...………...………...………...………...………...………...…………

[11:31] Emberly: My thoughts exactly, Tibs

[11:31] Emberly: I’m going back to work. Have fun!

[11:31] Ducker: I’m.. not even gonna say anything

[11:32] Schwoopsie: Thank you for more content

_Keeri changed gay mess’s nickname to gay IDIOT._

[11:32] gay IDIOT: uh EXCUSE you??? dont be fuckin rude!!!!!!!!! >:-(

_gay IDIOT changed their nickname to Smartest Gay™._

_SB changed the group name to ‘zero brain cells’._

* * *

**_Private chat between Zazzalil and Jemilla._ **

[16:08] Zazzalil: hey!! just thought i should tell you that i had loads of fun hanging out with you today

[16:08] Zazzalil: and to apologize again for keeping you for too long!! i hope your boss didnt chew you out when you went back to work :-(

[16:10] Zazzalil: oh and tell charlie i said hi and that i cant wait to meet him fr!!!

[17:16] Jemilla: He says hi back :^)

[17:17] Jemilla: Don’t worry about me! The environment in my workplace is pretty chill, as long as we do our jobs, my boss doesn’t mind a occasional extended lunch breaks.

[17:17] Jemilla: And I had fun, too!

[17:18] Jemilla: If you’d like, we could go out again sometime? My treat.

[17:45] Jemilla: _Attached 1 picture._

[17:45] Jemilla: Sorry for the spam! Just wanted to show you how cute Charlie is being. I can’t wait to see our boys together!!

[18:01] Zazzalil: eh dont worry about spamming me, im probably gonna do it to you before long

[18:01] Zazzalil: charlie is literally the preciousest boy ive ever seen?? he stole my HEART

[18:01] Zazzalil: your boss sounds cool! so unlike mine :-((

[18:02] Zazzalil: and id love to go out with you again, milla!

[18:19] Jemilla: Milla?

[18:22] Zazzalil: thats my new nickname for you!! no refunds

[18:22] Zazzalil: unless it weirds you out,, then of course refunds!!!

[18:24] Jemilla: Haha, no, it doesn’t weird me out. I’ve just never heard that one before. People usually call me Jay or, in rare occassions, J-Mills.

[18:25] Jemilla: I guess you _would_ be the person to give me a unique nickname, Zazzy :^)

[18:25] Zazzalil: zazzy??

[18:28] Jemilla: My nickname for you!

[18:29] Zazzalil: that one’s pretty distinctive too! youre not too bad at making up unique names yourself, milla ;-)

[18:30] Jemilla: Haha, well thank you very much!

[18:30] Zazzalil: it’s really cute actually!! i like it a lot

[18:31] Jemilla: It suits you perfectly, then! :^)

[18:31] Zazzalil: wdym??

[18:31] Jemilla: A cute nickname for a cute person <3

[18:32] Zazzalil: a

[19:11] Jemilla: ..Zazzy? You okay over there?

* * *

**_‘zero brain cells’ group chat_ **

[18:34] Schwoopsie: _Attached 20 pictures._

[18:34] Schwoopsie: Zazzalil’s Gay Breakdown 2: Electric Boogaloo

[18:34] SB: lmao what happened

[18:35] Keeri: i dont think ive ever seen a gay breakdown as bad as this one aksdfhkjahsf

[18:35] Tiblyn: Ma’am i am Ready To Tweet

[18:35] Schwoopsie: Okay hold on lemme send the screenshot thru her phone

[18:38] Smartest Gay™: _Attached 1 picture._

[18:39] Keeri: OOOHHFDGHDFGFJGHHGFHH THATS SO GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! EXCUSE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[18:39] Tiblyn: I owe this woman so much royalty oh my GOD

[18:39] SB: id go straight for her

[18:40] Ducker: Why did I blush

[18:41] Emberly: Keeri could you please stop yelling at me to check the group chat?? I am TRYING to cook for my family!!!

[18:41] Emberly: WAIT

[18:41] Emberly: Okay screw my family (I love them) this is way more important

[18:41] Keeri: I TOLD YOU DFGHKSDFJSK

[18:42] Tiblyn: How did Zazz react?? All I see in the pictures are blurry ass limbs

[18:42] Schwoopsie: Oh she started flailing around

[18:42] Schwoopsie: And then she slammed her face into the throw pillow

[18:42] Schwoopsie: She hasnt moved since

[18:43] Schwoopsie: ...I feel like i should be worried

[18:43] SB: sounds like one hella intense Gay Breakdown

[18:43] Emberly: Zazz always acts like she’s so suave but she’s such a fucking bottom

[18:44] Keeri: ADKFHSKDFKDFJGK EMBERLYYYYYY

[18:44] Tiblyn: Did she lie though????

[18:45] Schwoopsie: _Attached 1 video._

[18:45] Schwoopsie: Guys i think shes broken

[18:45] SB: have you tried restarting her

[18:46] Emberly: Is

[18:46] Emberly: Is she breathing???????????

[18:46] Tiblyn: HER EARS ARE SO RED JIKJUDIFE

[18:46] Keeri: tiblyn that keysmash was so gross never do that again

[18:47] Tiblyn: :(

[18:47] Ducker: Schwoops please flip her over so she can breathe she’s gonna suffocate in there

[18:49] Schwoopsie: _Attached 1 picture._

[18:49] Schwoopsie: IM LITERALLY IN TEARS THIS IS SO FUNNY

[18:50] SB: why does she look like ducker that one time he got high on mushrooms

[18:50] Ducker: SEBASTIAN WE AGREED TO NEVER TALK ABOUT THAT E V E R AGAIN

[18:50] SB: lol

[18:51] Emberly: I’m starting to get a little worried, is she actually okay????

[18:51] Schwoopsie: Oh shes fineeeeee i can hear her wheezing

[18:51] Emberly: Okay good, I’m gonna go back to cooking then

[18:52] Keeri: emberly, the Good Friend™

[18:52] Emberly: And don’t you forget it!

[18:53] Tiblyn: Hey Schwoops

[18:53] Schwoopsie: ?

[18:53] Tiblyn: Try pouring water on her

[18:53] Tiblyn: (And please record her reaction thank you so much)

[18:54] Keeri: wont she die from shock or something

[18:54] Tiblyn: Pshh naaaaawwwwwwwwww

[18:54] SB: seems legit

[18:55] Ducker: I’m gonna run away so she won’t come after me when she inevitably tries to kill all of you

[19:07] Schwoopsie: _Attached 2 videos._

[19:07] Schwoopsie: Im hiding in the bathroom

[19:08] Smartest Gay™: FUCK YOU DAVID MACKAY!!!!!!!!

[19:08] Ducker: I DIDNT EVEN DO ANYTHING

[19:08] Smartest Gay™: EXACTLY!!!!

_Emberly changed Ducker’s nickname to Deader._

[19:09] Tiblyn: Oh honey that’s not even remotely funny….

[19:09] Emberly: I think it is :(

[19:09] Keeri: damn tibs dont be mean to emberly

_Keeri changed Smartest Gay™’s nickname to angy baby._

[19:09] Schwoopsie: Oh lit is she not coming after me

[19:10] Schwoopsie: _Attached voice recording._

[19:10] Keeri: IM SORRY DID SHE JSUT CALL U SAMANTHA VON SQUIRRELTIE

[19:10] Schwoopsie: Thats not even remotely close to my actual name??

[19:11] Schwoopsie: _Attached voice recording._

[19:12] Tiblyn: THE WAY SHE IMMEDIATELY STOPPED WHEN JEMILLA TEXTED HER WE-

[19:12] Keeri: ………….ok zazz

[19:13] Schwoopsie: Does this mean im safe

[19:13] SB: i wouldnt chance it lmao

[19:13] Deader: Friendly reminder that she set my head on fire once

[19:14] Deader: Wait who the fuck changed my nickname to this lame ass one

_Deader changed their nickname to Ducker._

[19:16] Emberly: :(

* * *

**_Private chat between Zazzalil and Jemilla_ **

[19:12] Zazzalil: im okay!! my roommate was just being a brat and annoying me haha :-)

[19:12] Jemilla: Sounds like you two get along, haha!

[19:12] Zazzalil: mm shes a dick sometimes but ive known her for like half my life

[19:13] Zazzalil: shes basically family, even if i hate her sometimes

[19:13] Jemilla: That sounds lovely, Zazzy :^)

[19:13] Jemilla: It’s great that you have such a wonderful support system around you!

[19:14] Zazzalil: i hope you have friends all around you too!! youre just about the nicest person ive ever met and i will RIOT if you dont have constant love and support

[19:20] Jemilla: Haha, I’m no saint, but thank you <3

[19:20] Jemilla: And just to ease your worries, I do in fact have a very strong support system.

[19:22] Jemilla: I have this group of friends I’ve known since college. They’re practically my family. They’ve supported me and Charlie since the very beginning, and I love them all very much.

[19:23] Zazzalil: that’s good to hear!! and hey, i have to ask you something

[19:23] Zazzalil: and you dont have to answer if you feel uncomfortable!!

[19:23] Zazzalil: whos charlie’s dad? i feel like you havent mentioned him before

[19:23] Jemilla: Oh, that question.

[19:24] Zazzalil: again, its totally okay if you dont want to answer!!!

[19:24] Zazzalil: in fact we can even pretend like i didnt even send that message thats cool too

[19:24] Zazzalil: so whats your favourite flower?? mine is celosia flowers especially when theyre all together in a bush cuz they look like fire and i think thats pretty cool!!!

[19:25] Jemilla: Zazzy! Calm down, I dont mind answering your question.

[19:25] Jemilla: (And just FYI, I love sunflowers.)

[19:26] Zazzalil: of course you do, thats very you

[19:26] Jemilla: I’m taking that as a compliment.

[19:28] Jemilla: Anyways, I’m still friends with Charlie’s dad. We broke up years ago when Charlie was only around three, but he’s always supported me.

[19:30] Zazzalil: ah, i see i see!!! im glad you dont have to scrape by on your own,, have you dated anyone since then?

[19:32] Jemilla: Nope.

[19:32] Zazzalil: oh why not?? i feel like people would be tripping over themselves to be with you!!

[19:33] Jemilla: I dunno, I guess I just never really felt anything with anyone?

[19:34] Jemilla: But I do have my eye on someone currently.

[19:34] Zazzalil: OH???? do tell!!!

[19:38] Jemilla: Haha, you’ll find out in due time <3

[19:38] Jemilla: Anyways, I have to bathe Charlie now. I’ll talk to you after, though!

[19:40] Zazzalil: talk to you in a bit, then!! :-)

* * *

**_‘zero brain cells’ group chat_ **

[20:01] Tiblyn: The way my followers are eating up all this Jazzalil content,,, whew

[20:04] Ducker: The hell is a Jazzalil??

[20:05] Tiblyn: It’s the ship name my followers came up with for Jemilla and Zazzalil

[20:06] Emberly: Aww wait that’s so cute!!

[20:06] Tiblyn: Isn’t it????

[20:07] SB: how come jemilla only gets one letter lol

[20:07] Keeri: this is jemilla ERASURE

[20:07] Schwoopsie: Jemazzalil doesnt sound as nice tho

[20:08] Keeri: ,,,,,,u win this time

[20:08] Ducker: Guys I made another dino pancake :D

[20:08] Ducker: _Attached 2 pictures._

[20:09] Ducker: It’s a stegosaurus and a triceratops this time

[20:14] Ducker: Oh come on, no “wow Ducker!!!”????

[20:14] SB: ducky

[20:15] SB: bro

[20:15] SB: not to be mean but

[20:15] angy baby: one of them is a weird lookin squiggle and the other is half burnt what do you WANT us to say????

[20:16] Ducker: Okay kinda rude :(

[20:16] angy baby: im still pissed at u dont test me

[20:16] Ducker: Yes ma’am I’m sorry ma’am please don’t hurt me ma’am

[20:17] Keeri: HSDFKJSKKSDJS

* * *

**_Private chat between Zazzalil and Jemilla_ **

[22:58] Jemilla: I mean.. Yeah, from what you’ve told me, it does sound like it was that Ducker guy’s fault?

[22:58] Zazzalil: THANK YOU!!!

[22:59] Zazzalil: oh shit wait it’s already 11

[22:59] Jemilla: Oh, that was quick! I was wondering why I was feeling so sleepy.

[22:59] Zazzalil: you couldve told me, milla!! you didnt have to entertain me

[23:00] Jemilla: Yeah, but I like talking to you.

[23:00] Jemilla: I feel like I could do talk to you forever without ever feeling bored.

[23:01] Zazzalil: dkjfghdw

[23:01] Jemilla: You must be as sleepy as I am, dropping your phone like that!

[23:01] Zazzalil: hAHA yeah i guess so!!!

[23:02] Jemilla: I guess this is goodnight, then. We’ll talk tomorrow?

[23:02] Zazzalil: yeah, of course!

[23:02] Jemilla: Goodnight, Zazzy :^)

[23:02] Zazzalil: gnight, milla. sweet dreams! :-)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still debating on whether or not i should make the Reveal dramatic or stupid


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth comes out: Does Snarl is Zazzalil's Son?

_Saturday, 20 April_

**_‘zero brain cells’ group chat_ **

[07:48] angy baby: EMBERLY CAN I PLEASE BORROW YOUR SON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[07:49] angy baby: _Attached 3 pictures._

[07:49] angy baby: also which outfit should i wear when i go over to milla’s later

[07:53] angy baby: wAKE UP LAZY ASSHOLES I NEED ASSISTANCE!!!!!!!!!!!

[09:02] Ducker: ...Why were you awake before 8am on a Saturday?

[09:02] angy baby: i couldnt sleep

_Keeri changed angy baby’s nickname to gay mess 2.0._

[09:08] Keeri: lol gay

[09:08] Keeri: also definitely go for the blouse tucked into ur shorts they show off ur Legs

[09:08] gay mess 2.0: my legs are kinda gross tho????

[09:08] Keeri: um NO theyre Hot queen show of ur best attributes amirite <333

[09:10] gay mess 2.0: dfkghjdkfghh okay then,,,

[09:14] Tiblyn: OH and don’t forget to roll up your sleeves!!! Show off those guns lesbian icon!!!!!

[09:14] gay mess 2.0: i wouldnt call them GUNS,,,,,

[09:14] Schwoopsie: Literally stfu we all know you can benchpress keeri

[09:16] Emberly: You may be an idiot, but you’re a hot idiot

[09:17] SB: hell yeah queen

[09:17] gay mess 2.0: sb please never call me queen ever again

[09:17] SB: fair

[09:17] gay mess 2.0: ALSO EMBERLY THANK GOD!!!! PLEASE LET ME BORROW UR SON!!!!

[09:17] Emberly: I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO COME CLEAN TO HER RIGHT FROM THE START

[09:18] Emberly: Also I’m not about to put my little boy through the horror of spending the entire day with you

[09:18] gay mess 2.0: uhhhh rude im not THAT bad

[09:18] Emberly: I just know that you’d teach my son how to throw rocks at his bullies if I let him go with you

[09:19] gay mess 2.0: uhh ur Wrong id teach him to make and throw SPEARS at his bullies ok god get ur facts right

[09:19] gay mess: milla will be there too anyways!!!

[09:19] Emberly: I’m not lending you my son, Zazzalil

[09:19] gay mess 2.0: :-(

* * *

**_Private chat between Zazzalil and Keeri_ **

[09:20] Zazzalil: keeri help me kidnap emberly’s kid

[09:20] Zazzalil: i’ll watch the princess diaries movies with u if u do

* * *

**_‘zero brain cells’ group chat_ **

[09:20] Keeri: _Attached 1 picture._

[09:20] Emberly: ELIZABETH

[09:21] gay mess 2.0: HSKFGKDJFGK KEERI WHYD YOU SELL ME OUT!!!!!!

[09:21] Keeri: i know we said Be Gay Do Crimes but ion think u should keep lying to jemilla kiddo

* * *

**_Private chat between Zazzalil and Tiblyn_ **

[09:21] Zazzalil: TIBLYN

[09:22] Tiblyn: No, I won’t help you kidnap Mikey

[09:22] Tiblyn: Anyways I live thousands of miles away from you??

[09:22] Zazzalil: you dont know that i was gonna ask that!!

[09:22] Tiblyn: Zazzalil.

[09:23] Zazzalil: >:-(

* * *

**_Private chat between Zazzalil and Schwoopsie_ **

[09:23] Schwoopsie: Im not helping you out either

[09:23] Zazzalil: i wasnt even gonna ask you

[09:23] Schwoopsie: Werent you?

[09:24] Zazzalil: ……. >:-(

* * *

**_‘zero brain cells’ group chat_ **

[09:24] Emberly: Are you done asking the others for help trying to kidnap my baby boy?

[09:25] gay mess 2.0: ….i wasnt doing that

[09:25] Tiblyn: _Attached 1 picture._

[09:25] Schwoopsie: _Attached 1 picture._

[09:25] gay mess 2.0: WHDKKSJD BTIChE

[09:26] SB: hey how come me and ducks werent asked

[09:26] Ducker: Because we’d be terrible partner-in-crimes?

[09:26] SB: oh lol yeah tru

[09:27] gay mess 2.0: OK SHUT UP FOR A SEC SHE TEXTED ME

[09:27] Tiblyn: Rude :(

[09:27] gay mess 2.0: snitch

[09:27] Schwoopsie: Thats fair lmao

* * *

**_Private chat between Zazzalil and Jemilla_ **

[09:27] Jemilla: Good morning, Zazzy! :^)

[09:27] Jemilla: Today’s the day!

[09:27] Zazzalil: mornin, milla!!

[09:28] Zazzalil: im lookin forward to hangin out w/ you and charlie :-)

[09:28] Jemilla: And your son, too!

[09:28] Jemilla: I’ll be seeing you at 11.30, right?

[09:29] Zazzalil: yep, thats the plan!

[09:31] Jemilla: Okay, good. I gotta go make breakfast for Charlie.

[09:31] Jemilla: I’ll talk to you after! <3

[09:32] Zazzalil: ttyl, milla

* * *

**_‘zero brain cells’ group chat_ **

[09:27] Emberly: _Attached 1 picture._

[09:28] Emberly: Look at the dino pancakes I made!

[09:28] Ducker: Um excuse you?

[09:28] Emberly: What?

[09:28] Ducker: Dino pancakes are MY thing, Emberly!!!! Stop coming for my brand!!

[09:29] SB: take her to court ducky!!!!

[09:29] Keeri: embs ur legally required to Apologise and Never make dino pancakes ever again

[09:29] Emberly: Wh- They’re PANCAKES you can’t copyright a food!!!

[09:30] gay mess 2.0: sorry embs we dont make the rules u have to pay him a fine of 500 bucks too

[09:30] Emberly: Shut up and go back to texting your girlfriend

[09:30] gay mess 2.0: fuckin RUDE

[09:30] gay mess 2.0: also not my gf

[09:30] Tiblyn: Anyways you made DINO pancakes!! Those are Ducker’s thing!!

[09:30] SB: honestly so rude of u to steal his thing

[09:30] Schwoopsie: God, emberly, have you no shame??

[09:31] Emberly: OKAY jesus i’ll never make dino pancakes again

[09:31] Tiblyn: _Attached 1 picture._

[09:31] Tiblyn: Hey guys look at the dino pancakes I made <3

[09:31] Keeri: i stan these dino pancakes

[09:31] Ducker: 13/10 I love em

[09:31] SB: id eat them

[09:31] Schwoopsie: Damn tibs when did u become a whole ass masterchef??

[09:32] Emberly: Okay fuck you guys I’m gonna go pout at my hubby

[09:32] Tiblyn: Love you <3

* * *

**_Private chat between Zazzalil and Keeri_ **

[11:21] Zazzalil: KEERI HELP I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO

[11:22] Keeri: hey man its ur fault u didnt tell her the truth

[11:22] Zazzalil: well yeah i got that but what do i doooooooooo

[11:22] Zazzalil: shes been talking to me about the struggles of being a single mom all week and i feel so bad that ive been lying to her this entire time please send help akjhgkdfgjkdfhg

[11:23] Keeri: ok look you dont HAVE to go over to her house?? you could just cancel on her

[11:23] Zazzalil: no!!! shes been so excited for this i dont wanna disappoint her

[11:23] Keeri: youve literally been lying about being a mom i think disappointing her is the least of ur worries rn

[11:24] Zazzalil: ok so 1. snarl IS my son screw u and 2. UR NOT HELPING

[11:24] Keeri: okay chill for a sec

[11:24] Keeri: i really think you should just tell her the truth, zazz

[11:24] Keeri: the longer she doesnt know, the worse she’ll react when she does find out

[11:25] Zazzalil: dkjghdjfgkd okay

[11:25] Keeri: you’ll be okay!!!! at least you wont be lying to her anymore

[11:25] Keeri: where are you anyways???

[11:26] Zazzalil: im still at home why

[11:26] Keeri: arent you supposed to be at her house at 11.30

[11:26] Zazzalil: HWDSD

[11:26] Zazzalil: HDGKHDSHITI GONTTAGO BYEKEERIAILTALK TO U LATER!!!!!!!!!

[11:27] Keeri: good luck dumbass <3

* * *

**_Private chat between Zazzalil and Jemilla_ **

[11:27] Zazzalil: UM HI SO

[11:27] Zazzalil: im SO SO SORRY but i might be a lil late!! i completely lost track of time but im On my way! now!!!!

[11:28] Zazzalil: also FUCK that autofill, ill see you soon!!!

[11:30] Jemilla: Haha, it’s okay!! I have to bathe Charlie again anyways, he’s been having way too much fun in the backyard.

[11:30] Jemilla: I’ll see you soon, Zazzy <3

* * *

Glancing at her phone’s GPS nervously, Zazzalil slowly pulled into the parking space Jemilla had told her to park her car in just the day before. She glanced out her window to eye Jemilla’s house. She was mildly impressed that Jemilla could afford to live in the comfy looking home – complete with its own backyard! – especially as a single mom.

Her gaze snapped back to her steering wheel when she spotted some movement behind the white curtain in one of the windows on the lower floor.

Zazzalil’s knuckles were white from her tight grip on the steering wheel. She was barely breathing at all, her breaths coming in short, shallow gasps as she tried to calm herself down. She wondered if Jemilla would hate her once the truth came out.

Just as she was about to convince herself that running away from her problems would be the better option, she was startled out of her thoughts by Snarl’s cold nose impatiently pressing against her cheek.

Her golden retriever had clambered over the emergency brake between them and had his paws on Zazzalil’s lap as he sniffed his owner’s face. When she just stared at him, he started licking her face, tail wagging when she started to laugh and stroked his fur gently.

Happy that he had her attention, he flopped his head down onto her lap, rolling over onto his side so Zazzalil had access to his belly. She gladly started petting his belly, laughing when his tongue lolled out in contentment. She watched him huff and puff happily for a few moments before sending off a text informing her friends of her arrival at Jemilla’s house.

A steady stream of “good luck!!!” texts were sent back, and with a nervous gulp, Zazzalil slipped her phone into her pocket and leaned back against her seat. Both her hands were petting Snarl rather vigorously, a result of her anxious fidgeting. But it wasn’t like Snarl would complain, he was just happy to receive attention from his beloved owner.

For a moment, she debated leaving Snarl in the car for the time being - it would be easier to quickly drive away if Jemilla declared she hated her and chased her off. She sighed and ultimately decided to just bring Snarl with her instead, stepping out of the car and letting him prance around on the tarred road as she leashed him.

All too soon, they were standing in front of Jemilla’s door, Zazzalil’s hand hovering inches away from the painted wood. Snarl sat near her feet, leaning against her legs and waiting patiently for his owner to knock on the door. The rhythmic beat of his tail thumping against the porch as it wagged brought some semblance of comfort to her.

Zazzalil finally bit the bullet and knocked before taking a step back. One hand immediately went to Snarl’s head, gently scratching his favourite spot as she waited for the door to open. Briefly, vivid images of Jemilla screaming at her flashed before her eyes, and she wondered if she should have just bailed on their plans instead.

Eventually, the door opened and Zazzalil found her breath taken away as the lovely sight of Jemilla in a yellow sundress greeted her. Her curly brown hair was in its usual style, framing her pretty face and her usual wide grin was present.

“It’s nice to see you again, Zazzalil,” Jemilla greeted, and Zazzalil thought she imagined her eyes flitting over her form. She suddenly regretted wearing the shorts Keeri had picked out, sure that she had accidentally forgotten to shave some spots.

Before she could reply, Jemilla’s eyes landed on Snarl, and immediately Zazzalil threw everything out her mind and scrambled to explain herself to the woman.

“Oh, is this-”

“I’m so sorry for lying to you!” Zazzalil blurted out, her grip tightening on Snarl’s leash. Jemilla turned back to her, surprised at the interruption.

“I know we’ve been bantering back and forth about our sons for like a week now but I never got the chance to tell you that I didn’t actually have a kid and I know that that’s a bullshit excuse, but I swear I always forget to come clean to you whenever we talk! And that’s totally not your fault or anything, I just get really nervous talking to you and it completely slips my mind every single time, and-”

Jemilla raised one eyebrow, and her lips quirked into an amused smirk. She crossed her arms and leaned against the doorframe, cocking her head at Zazzalil.

“Oh?” she interrupted, “And why’s that?”

Zazzalil could only stare at her, absolutely clueless as to what the brunette could have been referring to.

“Why do you get nervous talking to me?” Jemilla prompted.

Suddenly, the thought of running back to her car and speeding away seemed _very_ appealing to Zazzalil.

She could feel her face heat up, and the hand that had been scratching Snarl’s head paused in its motions. The golden retriever whined at the loss of affection.

“I- That’s, um,” Zazzalil stammered as she looked away, unable to meet Jemilla’s eyes. She missed the fond smile that bloomed on Jemilla’s face.

“That’s not the point!” Zazzalil spluttered, “The point is that I lied to you and I’m so sorry and I completely understand if you hate me now. I’ll leave if you want me to.”

Jemilla said nothing and just continued to smile at Zazzalil instead. The shorter brunette, baffled by the complete lack of reaction, took a nervous step back, tugging on her dog’s leash. Snarl’s ears perked up, but he stayed seated.

“You know what? I’ll even get a headstart on that, just for you!” Zazzalil said loudly, starting to back away from Jemilla. “Again, I’m so sorry I lied to you, I’ll just leave now and you’ll never have to see me again.”

She was about to turn when a hand landed on her arm, pulling her back. She was sure she was hallucinating when Jemilla almost doubled over in laughter as she tugged Zazzalil back towards her.

She could only stare as the single mother caught her breath before kneeling down to greet Snarl with a wide grin and reaching out a cautious hand to pet him. The golden retriever, always glad to receive more attention, gladly shoved his face into her hand, guiding her to his favourite petting spot.

Zazzalil was gaping, watching the interaction with wide, incredulous eyes. Jemilla straightened up a few moments after, and she pulled her human companion into a warm hug. Zazzalil patted her back awkwardly, some distant part of her mind telling her that this was where Jemilla would mutter threats into her ear and chase her off after.

But Jemilla said nothing and just pulled away, inviting Zazzalil and Snarl into her house. At this point, Zazzalil’s grip on her dog’s leash had gone slack, so the golden retriever happily trotted in, eager to explore new territory. Zazzalil stayed stock still in her spot, though.

“Huh?” was the only noise she could make as she watched Jemilla blink at her expectantly.

Jemilla tilted her head to the side with a smile.

“Zazzalil, I knew from the start,” she explained with a jovial giggle. Zazzalil’s jaw dropped further, and her brows furrowed as her confusion deepened. Her mouth opened and closed, and she was unable to croak out a response.

Rolling her eyes, Jemilla grabbed Zazzalil’s hand – and no, Zazzalil’s mind definitely _did not_ short circuit at the contact, _thankyouverymuch_ – and pulled her into the house before closing the door behind them.

Zazzalil barely had any time to glance around before the taller brunette was ushering her towards the island in the kitchen. She sat in the chair Jemilla had gestured to, and watched in apprehension as Jemilla casually opened some cabinets, pulling out two mugs.

“Tea?” she offered, holding up the mugs. Zazzalil nodded, unable to say anything in response in fear of angering her seemingly calm friend – if she could still call Jemilla that. She started, wondering where her dog had disappeared to.

“Wait, where did Snarl wander off to?” she asked, finally looking around Jemilla’s home.

The walls were painted a warm yellow, and the layout was quite open, as she was able to peer into the living room from where she was seated. The space was decorated impeccably, exuding comfort and _Jemilla_ wherever she looked. She noted several plants sitting on sunny windowsills, vibrant and happy in the care of their owner. There was a wall displaying a collage of pictures which Zazzalil couldn’t quite make out, as well as charts of stars plastered on another.

“Snarl?” echoed Jemilla as she set the two mugs filled with tea in front of Zazzalil. She slid into the seat next to her, and their knees brushed for a fleeting moment. Zazzalil immediately sipped her tea, hoping the steam from the hot liquid would make for a good excuse for her flushed face.

“My dog,” she responded, eyes darting away to look for the excited golden retriever once more.

“You named your golden retriever Snarl?” Jemilla asked, laughter clear in her voice.

“I thought it would be funny to name a dog of the friendliest breed something scary,” Zazzalil defended lamely, taking another sip when the taller brunette laughed at her. Zazzalil set the mug down on the island, turning to fully face her friend.

“What did you mean when you said you knew from the start?” she questioned, her fingers tapping out a random beat on her mug as she tried to stop herself from gripping the hot ceramic too tightly. Jemilla rested a hand over Zazzalil’s, stopping the nervous fidgeting as she put her own mug down.

“I meant I already knew you didn’t have a human son, Zazzy,” she laughed. Her hand stayed on Zazzalil’s. Zazzalil was sure that she was beet red.

“What do you mean you already knew?” she asked incredulously. Jemilla laughed again in response, making no effort in dampening her bright smile. Zazzalil admired her unabashed grin shyly.

“Zazzalil, there were no other blond human children at the park that day,” Jemilla explained, running a fond thumb over Zazzalil’s hand. “Don’t tell me you didn’t notice?”

Now that she really thought about it, Zazzalil couldn’t remember seeing any other blond kids running around the area that day. The only blonds there were Charlie and Snarl, her golden retriever. She buried her face in her hands, embarrassment flooding her person.

“Oh my god,” she groaned, diligently ignoring Jemilla’s amused laughter. “I’m so stupid, I’ve been feeling so guilty this whole week for nothing! I was planning to keep up the lie with some dumb plan and everything!”

“Well I think it's cute that you called him your son. Oh, and don’t call yourself stupid – it’s not like you were planning to kidnap one of your friends’ kids just to cover up for your lie.”

A beat of silence.

“Zazzalil!”

“I didn’t even say anything!” she defended. Jemilla shot her a look, and she raised her hands in defeat.

“Where’s Charlie?” she asked, glancing around once more, though she didn’t catch any sight of the blond child she had met last week. Jemilla took another sip from her mug as her eyes pointed meaningfully to the kitchen window overlooking the backyard.

Squinting, Zazzalil spotted a little blond boy running around and squealing in excitement. Snarl was chasing him, tail flicking back and forth at a speed so high, Zazzalil was afraid it would fly off at any moment. Charlie stumbled and fell onto the grass, and Snarl quickly ran up to him and started licking his face. The blond child screamed in delighted laughter as he got to his feet and shot off once more, Snarl following behind again.

“They were playing together at the park, ya know,” Jemilla pointed out, watching her son play with the dog with a softness in her eyes. Zazzalil’s gaze snapped back to Jemilla, her head cocking curiously.

“Wait, really?”

Jemilla nodded.

“I was a bit worried at first, but Snarl turned out to be quite friendly, so they got along after a bit,” she explained. Her eyes flicked back to Zazzalil’s. “And then I sat next to you on that bench.”

Zazzalil didn’t say anything, just staring back into Jemilla’s eyes, entranced. Sunlight was streaming in from the window, revealing the golden flecks in her brown eyes as they sparkled with some emotion Zazzalil couldn’t read.

Then Jemilla looked away, her cheeks faintly dusted with a pinkish hue.

“So, you’re staying for lunch, right?” she asked, pulling her hand away from Zazzalil’s to pick up her mug with both hands. Zazzalil felt a flash of longing at the loss of contact, saying nothing about it as she took another sip from her own mug.

Outside, she could see Charlie laying on Snarl’s belly. They seemed happy.

She turned back to Jemilla and was struck by the hopeful look on her face. She seemed a bit tense, as if ready to bolt if Zazzalil turned down the offer.

“Of course.”

Jemilla’s face broke into a wide grin, and Zazzalil felt a fluttering in her stomach.

“Perfect.”

* * *

The sun had set a few hours ago, and Zazzalil and Jemilla were sat on the couch, watching some silly movie Zazzalil couldn’t remember the title of – something about Santa Claus going to high school? Charlie had his head in Zazzalil’s lap as he watched the movie, while Snarl had happily plopped down onto Jemilla’s lap.

Lunch had been a lovely affair – Zazzalil had made quick friends with Charlie, who was excited to finally meet someone who was as passionate about dinosaurs as he was. When he learned that she owned a spear, the kid had practically lit up like a spotlight, mouth dropping open as his eyes widened excitedly. He started squirming in his chair, lips pressed tightly together like he was trying to hold himself back from saying something.

He turned to his mother, eyes wide as he pointed frantically at Zazzalil and swung his little feet in his chair. Jemilla shook her head, informing her son that no, she would _not_ allow him to play with Aunty Zazzy’s spear. He deflated, pouting at his plate. He stubbornly refused the bite of food his mother offered him.

After a few moments of pouting, Zazzalil caught his eye and winked at him, a silent promise to let him play with her spear someday. He immediately brightened and accepted the food, chewing happily. Jemilla shot her a playfully disapproving look, and Zazzalil had just shrugged with an innocent smile.

After that, Charlie had made Zazzalil carry him around on her back as they charged around the house, pretending to be cavemen running away from dinosaurs. Snarl had been given the role of the dinosaur, chasing them around without really having a clue as to his true purpose in the roleplay.

At first, Jemilla had opted to sitting quietly on the couch, watching them play with a close eye. After some very impressive puppy eyes from all three of her companions, she gave in and played the role of the villain who was trying to kill all the dinosaurs.

Some odd hours later, ‘Molag the Warmaster’, as Jemilla had dubbed herself, was finally defeated and Zazzalil and Charlie had gained themselves a new dinosaur friend. The child was quickly bathed while Zazzalil took Snarl out to the backyard to do his business. They had dinner – which turned out to be much less hectic, now that Charlie was all tuckered out from the day – and found themselves watching the movie.

Charlie had dozed off, and Zazzalil chose to watch him and stroke his hair gently in favour of ignoring the movie. She’d only known the kid properly for a few hours, but she could already see herself spoiling him with gifts and love.

“He’s a really special kid,” she mumbled, more to herself than anyone else.

“Yeah,” Jemilla agreed.

Zazzalil looked up to see the single mother watching her and Charlie with the softest eyes. Then her eyes dropped down to her son.

“He really likes you,” she observed, running an absent hand through Snarl’s fur. Zazzalil smiled and nodded towards the golden retriever who seemed to be melting into Jemilla’s lap, he was that comfortable.

“Snarl really likes you too,” she laughed, pushing a strand of hair behind her ears. Jemilla shot her an unreadable look. Zazzalil suddenly found that she couldn’t breathe properly. She cleared her throat looked down at Charlie. He was fully asleep now.

“Looks like he’s gone to sleep,” she muttered as she shifted carefully, not wanting to jostle him awake. Jemilla was nudging Snarl off her lap and standing in front of Zazzalil before she could really say anything else.

She picked him up, telling Zazzalil to wait for her to return as she carried Charlie off to tuck him into bed. Zazzalil nodded a silent affirmation, watching Jemilla as she padded off upstairs with her son in her arms.

A sudden weight in her lap alerted her that Snarl had crawled over to plop down into her lap in the absence of Jemilla’s. Her hand reflexively went to scratch his favourite spot. He closed his dewy brown eyes, tail wagging lazily in contentment.

“Hey, bud,” Zazzalil greeted softly, smiling affectionately when he let out a small ruff in response. “You had fun today?”

Snarl blinked up at her, and Zazzalil laughed knowingly.

“Me too, pal,” she agreed, rubbing off a spot of dirt on his ear with a gentle thumb. “You really like them, huh?”

Snarl’s tail started wagging faster.

“Yeah. I really, really like them, too,” she mumbled, petting his head with both hands.

“He looks sleepy,” came a voice from behind Zazzalil. She turned to see Jemilla leaning against the wall, watching them with a fond smile.

“Heh, yeah. I should probably get going, then,” she said, standing up and picking her car keys off the coffee table. Snarl perked up at the familiar jingle of metal and hopped off the couch, circling his owner’s legs in excitement.

Jemilla was silent for a moment as she watched Zazzalil gather her things.

“You could stay,” she blurted out. Zazzalil looked up at her in surprise. Jemilla’s eyes were wide, her lips pursed like she hadn’t meant to say that. In a heartbeat, though, her expression quickly morphed into one of resolution.

“We have a spare bedroom you and Snarl could sleep in.”

Zazzalil considered the offer, but the insistent tugging at the leash was what made up her mind.

“That’s okay,” she turned down gently, missing the disappointed look on Jemilla’s face as she glanced down at her excited dog. “I wouldn’t wanna bother you. Besides, Snarl here seems pretty eager to get home.”

She looked back up to Jemilla, who had all but resigned to her decision.

“Maybe next time?” Zazzalil offered instead. Jemilla smiled at her, all softness and warmth.

“Okay. I’ll walk you to your car.”

Soon, Snarl was in the backseat and Zazzalil and Jemilla were standing by the door to the driver’s seat.

“I had fun today,” Jemilla said, staring at Zazzalil with that unreadable expression again. Zazzalil could only smile and nod.

“I had fun today, too,” she concurred, “Your kid is pretty great.”

“He is. I’m glad you two got along.”

They paused for a moment, both reluctant to say their goodbyes.

Zazzalil shivered when a cold breeze whirled by. Spring was still in its early stages, after all, and those shorts weren’t doing her much good in retaining body heat.

Jemilla immediately took off her jacket and draped it over the shorter girl’s shoulders.

“Wha- Milla, what?” Zazzalil stammered, a blush rising to her cheeks.

“You were cold.”

“Jemilla, I’m literally inches away from getting into my car, I think I’ll be okay.”

Her hands rose to her shoulders to slip the jacket off, but Jemilla’s hands on hers made her pause. She looked up to see that Jemilla had taken a step closer to her, and she was now pressed against her car door. She gulped, feeling those familiar butterflies stir up again.

“Keep it,” murmured Jemilla. “It looks better on you, anyways.”

Zazzalil wrinkled her nose playfully, disregarding the heat that had risen up all the way to her ears.

“That was really cheesy, Milla.”

Jemilla smiled. When had her face gotten so close to Zazzalil’s?

“Yeah,” she whispered. Zazzalil could feel her warm breath on her cheeks.

Then they were kissing, soft and warm and perfect.

Zazzalil felt her breath whisk out of her lungs as her eyes closed, and she rose onto the tips of her toes to lean into the kiss. Her hands found their way to Jemilla’s hips, pulling the taller brunette closer to her. Jemilla’s hands rose to cup her cheeks, her thumb gently caressing the warm skin.

Zazzalil's stomach settled, and she was filled with a warm rush of contentment. Somewhere deep inside her, she knew that this was where she was meant to be.

All too soon, they pulled away, resting their foreheads together.

“What was that?” Zazzalil asked, eyes fluttering open to meet Jemilla’s warm gaze.

“I just really, really like you,” answered Jemilla, grinning shyly. “And from the way you returned the kiss, I think you like me too.”

She said it with a questioning tone, like she was still unsure that Zazzalil returned her feelings. In response, Zazzalil pressed a kiss onto one of Jemilla’s palms, nuzzling into its warmth.

“Yeah,” she breathed, “I really, really do.”

Jemilla’s shy smile spread into a full blown grin, and Zazzalil pulled her into another kiss. It was quick and sweet and perfect. Jemilla started to giggle, and Zazzalil felt her stomach fluttering again.

Though she was reluctant, Zazzalil eventually pulled away from the embrace they had found themselves in.

“I have to go,” she said despondently, glancing at her dog through the window. A hand on her cheek turned her back towards Jemilla, who pressed another kiss to her lips.

“I’ll see you soon, then,” Jemilla promised, taking a step back. “Text me when you get home, okay?”

“You know I will.”

They exchanged pleasant smiles, happy with the way their relationship had developed.

Zazzalil planted one last kiss on Jemilla’s lips before getting into her car, waving goodbye as she drove away.

* * *

**_‘zero brain cells’ group chat_ **

[21:48] Emberly: Do you guys think Zazzalil’s date with Jemilla went okay?? She hasn’t updated us at all beyond telling us she arrived at her house

[21:48] Tiblyn: I mean, I’m assuming they’re doing great considering she hasn’t called Keeri crying at all?

[21:48] Keeri: yeah she hasnt done that but who knows??

[21:49] Keeri: she seems to RLLY like jemilla so idk if she’d react differently to a rejection

[21:49] Schwoopsie: Zazz is the toughest bitch i know, she’ll be fineeee

[21:49] Ducker: And she knows she can come to us if Jemilla does break her heart

[21:50] SB: damn ducks have some tact

[21:57] Keeri: @gay mess 2.0 u okay???

[22:02] gay mess 2.0: im more than okay

[22:03] gay mess 2.0: im great, actually

[22:03] Tiblyn: Girl tell us EVERYTHING

[22:03] gay mess 2.0: well theres not much to say?? we had lunch and dinner together, played with her kid and got to know him pretty well

[22:04] gay mess 2.0: oh, and we kissed

[22:04] Keeri: WHAT

[22:04] Emberly: ZAZZALIL!!!! OMG!!!!!!!

[22:04] Tiblyn: #JAZZALILISREAL

[22:05] Schwoopsie: Hold up you skipped over her reaction to the news that you dont actually have a son

[22:05] SB: i bet charlie and snarl became bros real quick lmao

[22:05] Ducker: So are you and Jemilla together now??

[22:09] Keeri: ZAZZ STOP IGNORING US

[22:10] gay mess 2.0: goodnight, my bestest friends!

[22:10] Tiblyn: Oh you little shit you better update us tmr

* * *

**_Private chat between Zazzalil and Jemilla_ **

_Jemilla changed Zazzalil’s nickname to Zazzy._

[21:49] Jemilla: :^)

_Zazzy changed Jemilla’s nickname to Milla._

[22:03] Zazzy: :-)

[22:03] Zazzy: i reached home safely

[22:06] Milla: Good.

[22:06] Milla: Wanna chat till we pass out? <3

[22:06] Zazzy: id love to <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's the end of this little story!
> 
> im so sorry this update came so late, but this one's the longest chapter yet, so i hope that makes up for it <33
> 
> thank you all so much for reading this story, your comments were really fun to read and they really helped motivate me to actually finish this!
> 
> my tumblr is @snowoiive and my twitter is @azminanan, if you wanna come gush about these cave wives with me
> 
> anyways, i hope y'all are staying safe and healthy during these quarantimes! hopefully this little story managed to keep you entertained :)


End file.
